When you get to heaven and are all excited, don’t be surprised when Jesus is like, “Whoa, chill. Forever is a long time and I’m here to tell you there’s something else…Prince is in hell and you’re missing one wild ass orgy…but we do have a fantastic buffet for only $9.95, and for an additional $4.95 you can add a lobster tail. Not premium lobster tail, but still, it is lobster-like. Also, there’s some paperwork we are going to need you to sign. If you will step right over here. Yeah, the long line would make you think we are pretty full, but not really. Just filled with Evangelicals and Trump supporters, so each person spends about 15-20 minutes complaining to staff about the line once they get to the front. Anyway, I know the pamphlet said we would be hanging out for eternity but I kinda already RSVP’d for the Prince-thing downstairs and I’d hate myself for missing it. You understand…prior engagements. Peace.”
Have you thought about joining The Psychotronic? You really should. It’s going to be the greatest documentary Ed Wood never got the chance to make. Just visit Indiegogo here and pick up a sweet t-shirt while you’re there. You can thank me later.